A couple of years ago one teen-ager committed suicide in Ontario, Canada. He belonged to a Pooran Gursikh Family. His parents were very affluent and the boy was sent to an exclusive French school. The parents were very proud of the fact that their son was the only one in that institution, and that too in full Sikh-form. He was not only a brilliant student academically, but also excellent in sports. He was highly acclaimed by the members of the teaching staff. By an overwhelming choice he was elected head-boy of the class, and later of the school. He supported full facial and head standards of Sikhism; he wore turban or patka during all his activities.

His parents always stressed the need of preservation of the Sikh form like his older brother, who was, then, in a University in Canada. His grandmother, particularly, maintained that if he ever adopted apostasy, he would see her dead face.

He was accepted in all the activities inside the school, but, unfortunately, he was deserted socially by his class-mates and friends out side the school-hours. The situation came to the crunch when he invited a few of his friends to his birthday party at his house. Not a single one turned up. A few days later a Canadian (white) friend of his celebrated his birthday. All of his colleagues attended the occasion but he was deliberately left out, he was not informed even. He learned that they objected to his physical appearance and the turban. They thought that his presence could be very odd at the jovial social gatherings.

Feeling humiliated he went into a hotel and his body was found next day, in a room there, with a suicide note. The note, directed towards his grandmother, said that the shape the grandmother wanted him to remain in, he could not maintain, and the shape, that he wanted to retain to move in social environments, she could not tolerate. He could not dream to offend her and, therefore, he was abandoning the world. At the bhog ceremony, Professor Darshan Singh Ragi stressed the need of Khalsa Schools to avoid such tragedies. (For the situation in the Khalsa institutions, please refer to the last paragraph of this artcile.)

And now on January 9 this year (1997), Inderjit Singh Shergill took his life and left this world. His parents are the most ardent devotees at the Dixie Road Gurdwara in Mississauga, Ontario Canada. Day in and day out his father would, voluntarily, keep abreast to rectify any mechanical repairs (in the kitchen, etc.) or physical needs of the building without any aspiration of personal gains. Inderjit, merely a high school boy, was as ardent as his parents. He fervently adhered to the study of Punjabi Language and Sikh ethics and Gurbani in the evening classes run in this gurdwara. He regularly participated in the Keertan classes and took part in monthly Gurbani recitation contests.

Unlike the Anand-boy he attended an ordinary school; Punjabi boys and girls dominated the school population and the majority of them were Sikhs. Inderjit was often taunted and misbehaved for sticking to his Sikh form, not by the white ethnics but by his own kind (which frequently indulged in drugs and gang-activities). Due to his adherence to his belief he was often called `Giani'. Instead of respecting Inderjit for his love for his belief, his classmates contorted and called him `gay'. Inderjit could not digest all those and ended his life. Here the boy was the victim of the sneers of his own people.

These are not the only two isolated cases. It is learnt that there have been nine such incidents since September 1996. Immediately after such happening the Sikh clergy and leadership wakes up and raises hue and cry but soon it dies down.

From nine to nineteen is the most crucial stage in the development of a child. Up to the age of nine they are far less conscious of their colour and facial features (Two boys, one coloured and one white, were playing in the court-yard. They heard one of the parents haggling about a family of variant colour. The black boy said to his companion, "You know I am black, too." The white boy looked at his face acutely and said, "Are you?")

And once one attains the age of twenty, one becomes strong enough to face the diversionary forces.

But, I am sorry to say, the Sikh community is least concerned of this crucial age of the second category, i.e., nine to nineteen. There are, no doubt, many Sikh families who are very vigilant, and they comprehend the problems their children are facing. But, in most cases, their priorities are prejudicial and fundamentalist. Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine is approaching fast. Everywhere we are hearing the calls for all Sikhs to become Amritdhari. I hope it does not just remain an exercise to boast about the numbers. Sant Jarnel Singh Bhindrawale travelled through hundreds of villages and, through his magnetic aura, influenced thousands of young people and got them to become Amritdharis. Unfortunately, as the persuasion was abrupt and lacked long lasting spiritual consciousness and understanding, within ten years of his demise most of the youth fell into the domain of apostasy and drug-addiction.

In the West, more often than not, the compulsive environments become the cause of the apostasy. It is vital that the last and ultimate goal of every Sikh should be to be an Amritdhari Sikh. But before that the consciousness of the cause is critically needed. Children should be imparted right perceptions. Without this (particularly in the West where even a baby asks `why' before acquiescing to a parental suggestion) any coercion would be ineffective; either it would end in tragic circumstances or culminate in facial apostasy.

To consider this problem, a few young voluntary social workers in Ontario have formed a group, called Sahara, to enhance necessary understanding between the parents and the children to combat the negative impacts. Their plans and endeavour to hold the seminars are quite appreciable. Considering the importance of the family unity they will be focusing their forums on Family Dynamics. Whereas, as I understand, their main stress is to impress upon the parents to accede to the wishes of children, they will also, I hope, consider the means to help those children who, themselves, wish to keep the spirit and consciousness of Sikh tenets alive. The group should not only prepare the children to combat the distracting forces but also must intercede with such impacts, and illuminate their misgivings.

Two cases mentioned above, are the representatives of the thoughts prevailing among the youth. The Anand-boy, for sake of his social amalgamation (which, perhaps, he might have desired himself), could not inflict mental agony to his parents. Had he expressed his feeling, would his parents have acquiesced?

And the second one is the case of Inderjit Shergill. The Sikh spiritual values, ethics and decorum were thoroughly ingrained in his concepts. As his father explained, had he come to him and expressed his desire to change his shape, he might have agreed (Panj Paani Weekly, Toronto). But Inderjit, himself, wanted to retain his true form and he, himself, refused to succumb to derogatory influences. Would he have taken his life, if he had known that to commit suicide was contrary to the teachings of Sikhism?

Any organisation working towards this end must ponder over both the aspects. Whereas the stress is laid upon parents to be amicable, there should also be efforts to protect the understanding of the heritage, particularly in case of the ardent and convinced youth. Whatever the shape they may be they must be helped to keep the spirit of Sikhism alive. Such organisations should not leave their work to the point of pleasing the youth but also endeavour to take steps to keep the spirit of Sikh thought and existence of their lineage.

It would be worthwhile to reflect upon the Bombay experience in this regard. Even up to 1950s the Sikh face was nearly as much alien in Bombay as in a foreign land. A turban frequently received the comment, "Sirdar Ji, Is it twelve o'clock?" But with the advent of prosperity whole situation has changed now. A turban has become a symbol of effluence. (In the Rajdhani Express, coming from Bombay, I heard a Hindu gentleman saying, "He is asking for money from us. He should ask Sirdar Ji. Money is available with them only.") Through parents, abundance wealth coming in the way of youth has moulded their characters too. Unadulterated Sikh form (though with patkas instead of turban) has become a status symbol. When a Sikh boy joins social activities he is overwhelmingly welcomed; his lavish spending power makes his companions from other religions to forget his outer make-up.

But, unfortunately, the youth of Bombay (to that matter any Indian metropolis) is devoid of heritage consciousness. They hardly ever speak Punjabi (except to follow Malkiyat Singh, Baba Sehgal or Daler Mehndi). They hardly ever go to Gurdwaras (except at the non-religious social functions, e.g., engagements, marriages, etc.) In case of another 1984 carnage would they be able to display spiritual Sikh courage or they would be the first ones to change their shapes? The education for the consciousness of Sikh thought is more important.

And in the same context, it would be worth while to study the thought of Dr. Varinderpal Singh of Prem Nagar, Gurdaspur (Monthly Sant Sipahi May 1997). He had gone to Guru Nanak Dev University, Amritsar recently to attend the Bhog Ceremony of Sri Akhand Path Sahib. He was very much impressed with the devotion of the students who had, themselves, performed all the services. It was dismaying, however, to note that about eighty percent of students (who passed by the gurdwara precinct or participated in the ceremony) had forsaken their Sikh outer form. But their reverence towards Sikhism was, undoubtedly, unquestionable. None of them would, even, pass by without paying his obeisance either at the steps of the building or inside the gurdwara. At the end Dr. Singh observes, "Whole night I kept on reflecting upon the mental attitude of these young people. I feel, although, due to some ignorance (or compulsive environmental circumstances - PSB) those young ones have accepted apostasy, but the Godly fear and the consciousness of Waheguru still predominates. Creating circumstances congenial to Sikhism can awaken this. The need (of the time) is to bring them near (the Sikh decorum) with love."